This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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