I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
