ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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