Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
