What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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