why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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