Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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