I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
