So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
