During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My ass is underappreciated
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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