Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
