There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
