Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
