Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
