I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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