Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
