Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
