I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
