Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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