Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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