If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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