yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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