i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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