Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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