i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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