I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
