Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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