i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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