you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
