i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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