Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
