I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
