Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
