You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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