Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
