KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm really busy with my period
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