Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
