She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
