I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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