Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently you make a good broom.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
