I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
