i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
