No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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