ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
