Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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