when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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