i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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