I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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