Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
