Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
