my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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