Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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