you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
