So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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