the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
