dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
