It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The feeling are messing with the penis
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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